sinner & saint

pai

2010-09-24T16:02:00.002+08:00

ok, this is an overdue blog entry. i'll tell my story in a nutshell. last september 11, (yeah right, another infamous 9-11 event for me). we have been robbed and our vault has been taken from our home. thank God no one was harmed. it was a stupid thing really, our househelp took it and brought it to Dau, Pampanga, saying that my mom (who was out out of the country that time) 'called' her and said that there has been an accident, needed money and instructed her to get the vault, asking our other househelp to carry it and bring it to their sleeping quarters. they did all of this while hiding everything away from my dad who was at home that time. i mean come on. who would fall for that kind of moronic lie? if our 2 househelp had any conscience at all, they would have told my dad about it right? i cannot help but think that there has been some conspiracy, an inside job. i just never thought they would do it, come on, we never even treated them like househelp, we treated them as siblings and this is how they repay us. sigh. it was a fiasco. i cannot write about the details because there will be a case pending in the courts soon. i just hope justice would be given to us, even thogh i know the vault can never be retrieved unless a miracle happens. justice please. (crossed fingers). my friend told me that maybe we have 'pai' or bad luck this year, she suggested that we go to a chinese temple and be 'cleansed'. we might as well do it soon. pai be gone!

The ONE That Got Away

2010-07-16T23:49:00.002+08:00

i read this on facebook, and since i'm too tired to make an entry here, i'll just re-post this ;p

The ONE That Got Away

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with… and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequentially become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully, you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?” That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been”, but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is you “the one that got away.”

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

“Everything happens for a reason…”

by: Mark Macapagal

uncut

2010-07-05T17:18:00.002+08:00

i know the title's quite funny, being 'uncut' and proud of it. haha. Still, Bench Uncut was a success and we were part of it. we went to manila last friday, such a whole day of appointments and business things, it was so exhausting, but the last stop, which was the fashion show was fun. i've never been a fan of fashion shows although we're privileged enough to be part of these things. the production was amazing (a lot of money involved i must say), although the celebrities were not that 'hot', or maybe i'm just not that into 'celebrities', i mean you can always see them on the tube. but the models are a different thing, they know their stuff, especially those wearing sky-high-killer-heels. whew! the only heels i can wear must only be 3-4 inches (if walking is included), and i couldn't last in it. but in these kind of events, i get dolled up a little even if it's against my will, and it's just refreshing. people usually do a double take because they are not used to seeing me with make-up. haha. it makes me feel my age, because people usually mistake me for being younger (much younger!) than my age. i feel like a totally different person that time. i saw lot of good looking guys, but there was one in particular who kept 'looking', (*blushes*) but we never had the chance to talk because we were seated in different rows. haha, fun night. i think i'm beginning to appreciate the 'perks' of being in the fashion business, even for just a little bit. ;p

la la la

2010-06-28T19:21:00.003+08:00

it's raining so hard right now, i just hope there wouldn't be any power outage. and with the beautiful rain comes my terrible headache, maybe because of the weather change or maybe because i'm feeling sick. i need to get out tomorrow, i think my body is telling me to get out more, and i've been doing that for quite a while now, but i think i'm getting sick (literally), probably because i lack sleep. and yesterday i found out i had low blood pressure. or just anemic. sheesh. anyway, june has been a tiring month, but i am welcoming july, no matter what it brings. :)

=)

2010-06-06T16:32:00.003+08:00

quite a long time since i made an entry here., and i'm feeling great.=) i was on a donation craze the other day and i just finished two big bundles. i'm going to donate 1 bundle to a public school, it was purely books and school stuff, those that are not being used and are not going to be used (of course my literary collection is not included.it's my life.hehe) the other bundle is for anyone really, but i'm planning to give it to the Girl's Town (in DSWD), just old clothes and other girly stuff. now my problem is that i still haven't delivered it yet,hopefully next week i'd be able to. i'll ask the help of my ever trusty guy friends to accompany me.

trips and more...=)

2010-06-01T17:47:00.003+08:00

my friend already booked a flight to davao last week. hehe. we talked about it for a few minutes and it was already booked. so there was no turning back now. haha. but i'm quite excited although it's still on september...=) there are plans to go to singapore and thailand this july. money i need you now! =) please come in bulk. haha

weird

2010-05-28T18:02:00.002+08:00

i have to congratulate myself. it's almost 1 week and i handled it perfectly, just the way it should be. it was very difficult not to 'reply', it was even tempting to do so. but i have to do this for my own sake. if not, then everything would go back to scratch. so far i have done it for almost a week, if i could do it for a week, then i could do it for a month and so on. can't wait for that. that's why i'm keeping myself busy. so far i'm preoccupied with a lot of things.

my friend called me and asked me to go on a trip, i'd love to go, as long as it fits the budget.. i'm excited to travel anywhere. this is probably my chance to have a change of environment for a while, yehey..=)

dreamer's dream

2010-05-25T17:50:00.002+08:00

i've always loved sleeping. i have everyone who would vouch for that. really. last month i had the worst nightmare, in that dream i was shot, twice! it was on a beach (oh god please don't let it be camsur, bohol or palawan!) and i was shot. i could even taste the sand, the water, i could feel everything. it was scary. i thought i literally died.

last night was quite refreshing. i dreamt of... what else but chocolates??? it was kinda weird but the moment i woke up i couldn't help smiling. i forgot every aspect of my dream except that. haha. and i'm really excited, i'm not sure why.. whew. i have to stop feeling giddy right now. heehee..=)

hihi

2010-05-25T17:33:00.002+08:00

i'm genuinely happy right now. =) and not because of the Camsur thing that popped out of my head yesterday. haha. i would love to go to Camsur. maybe july is a good month, or maybe june.. i don't know, whatever works for us i guess.=)

birthday = new beginning. hopefully! =)

2010-05-21T00:08:00.002+08:00

it was my birthday yesterday,. the celebration would be on Saturday anyway, not a big one, we'll just eat out.. so on my birhday we just shopped, watched a movie, it was therapeutic. and for a while i felt really happy.

However, the day before that, (May 18) my good friends and i went to monasterio de tarlac,. it was a long drive but it was worth it. i was miserable that day, something happened and it was the most painful thing i have ever felt in my life. i was ready to just sulk at home but friends forced me to come out. hence, the roadtrip.=) it was a good thing because i felt really relieved after praying, wishing and just enjoying the view. i never thought that there was a place like that here in tarlac. haha.

but then, just when i thought everything would be fine, reality bit me today. it can never be fine again. i just had to accept that fact, the problem is that i'm having a really tough time accepting it. but i have to. i have to be strong. i have to bear the pain, or else i'll never move forward. i just have to. hopefully this day would mark a new beginning for me. please please please.

moon

2010-05-17T15:30:00.003+08:00

wow! the moon last night was amazing! i've always loved the mystery of the moon even as a kid. it was a venus occultation last night and my friend and i wished. =) it was a spur of the moment and i missed 'wishing' on just about anything. childish? i know=) whenever there's a full moon i just feel different, it makes me happy, i never knew why and i may not know why but i don't really care. hehe.

silence is great...=)

2010-05-14T20:06:00.002+08:00

i skipped 'work' today. =) i just felt tired physically, (hence, the flu) and just wanted to rest at home. it was good idea anyway. i just reflected on everything that happened. and now i am quite happy. =) i don't know how it happened but suddenly i felt lighter. it's like i had a detox or whatever. it's a good feeling and i'm loving it. i wanted to do a lot of things, so later i'll be making plans with my friends. i just realized that i never really lost anything. i have myself, my family and my friends. i have a pretty good life and i've never hurt anyone else just to satisfy my selfishness. so that makes me happy. now i know that i never lost anything...at all. =)

tony stark...ing!

2010-05-13T16:58:00.002+08:00

i just watched ironman2 with mags and lance and we had lunch together. i had fun and i have to thank them for that. =) it's a good thing to have them around. i mean why can't guys be like my guy friends? they are definitely good guys.. i guess i'm just a magnet for guys that are the total opposite.hehe. i wish it wouldn't happen again. i fervently pray for someone right for me. but i'm not rushing. i'm living my life again, the way i wanted to. i feel kind of different right now. i guess letting go is a double-edged sword. it hurts, but at the same time it heals. i just hope that i would heal completely. and faster please. =)

letting it all go

2010-05-13T15:58:00.003+08:00

sigh. just when i thought i was finally moving on, here he goes again, texting me for the past few days, i did not bother to reply --- until yesterday. and it was one of the biggest mistakes i have made in my life. he keeps asking whether i have a grudge on him. i told them i don't have any. at first it was smooth sailing, we talked (although there was a liitle bit of sarcasm on my part). he told me that he wants to work things out. how can we work things out like this? we simply can't. and so came our worst exchange of messages ever. never in my life did it ever occur to me that he would be able to say those words to me. although he said 'sorry' after saying that (he jumped to the wrong conclusion). still, the damage has already been done. and this is the worst kind of damage that he has caused so far. far worst than the break-up, far worst than finding out that he found someone else that fast --- just days after the break up. this has got to hurt the most. i'm not going to put in my entry what he said to me through text messages because it still hurt. and what added insult to injury was the fact that he even had the nerve to say those things to me. wow. i just can't believe it. i have to congratulate him the moment i see him.

However, being THE 'good' girl that i am, (i have to stop being a good girl for once. i mean, really. so that i wouldn't be taken for granted anymore.) I sent him a final text message. devoid of any anger, devoid of any sarcasm and resentment. i told him that we have to stop holding on to each other. because i think the reason why we kept on hurting each other (until now), was that we don't want to lose each other in a way. no matter how selfish it would seem, we don't want to lose each other. somehow, or maybe unconsciously, we think that we could save what we have left in the future. but it has to stop. even though it hurts and will hurt. it has to stop. because if it doesn't i wouldn't be able to move forward. i'll always dwell on the past, and i'll always remember the pain he caused me.

that's why i took the last ounce of strength i had in me last night and told him that i am letting him go. finally, i am letting us go. i thanked him for everything. i wished him all the best, and i hoped that he would be truly happy. because that's the kind of person that i am. no matter how much i wanted to treat anyone badly, i still can't do it. i'd take the step, but i'd retreat and i'd still feel sorry even if i shouldn't. even if they deserved it, i still feel sorry. i am still the one taking blow, the one taking the fall. sure, it hurt. it still hurt and i know it will hurt. but i have to take a step forward or else i'd be stuck. that is why i am finally letting him go. i am finally letting it all go.

brighter

2010-05-12T14:53:00.003+08:00

wow..i can't believe it. all of a sudden i just felt light. i'm quite relieved and happy right now. i have the greatest friends. haha. yesterday my friend jen treated me to a yellow cab snack and lent me a book which i'm reading right now. it was a funny book, i never thought that self-help books are fun to read. (it was my first time read a self-help book anyway.)

and then i was here in the shop (enjoying SM's free wi-fi) when two of my best guy friends (magno and lance) gave me a visit, i missed them a lot although we see each other often. i guess that's how you know that you have real friends. when they just show up unexpectedly. or they show up IMMEDIATELY after sending them a message to 'get away'. (which jen and i planned.hehehe)

we were supposed to watch ironman2 (yes, i haven't watched it yet. harhar) but they have to be the 'boss' of their own businesses. so we'll watch it tomorrow instead. =)

fixers don't fix anything

2010-05-11T20:10:00.003+08:00

i just had my lost driver's license substituted for 800 pesos. i thought there would be no more waiting time for me but apparently i was wrong.. and i wasted money. haaay. i guess some people just had to have it rough. it was not a long wait but just the thought of waiting for that stupid license annoys me. first i had to get an affidavit of loss, then, i had to get a police blotter and a police report. it was my first time to go to our local police station to do some 'business' there. it was a good thing that the policewoman was nice enough to give me a police report.

then i went to LTO to finally get it done, but this government-official-slash-fixer told me she can help speed up the process for 800 pesos. i agreed hoping that i would be able to have my license as soon as possible without waiting. well, it was suposed to be easy but then when i was about to get my license, it had a totally different person on the picture. i mean, come on.. so eventually i had to wait. so i don't know what happened to those people that i had to interview (for our shop). i wasn't able to finish on time. luckily my friend invited me for a snack and i was able to talk to someone else. haha. it's such a good thing to have friend who understands. now, I'm in a much better mood, and i finally have my license. =) and we're planning on a little 'get-away' preferably this july. yey! i'm quite excited..=)

Despicable Him

2010-05-09T19:05:00.004+08:00

whew. i AM so exhausted. of everything. i mean if i have to recall what 2010 has brought me so far, it has not been good --- at all. i don't know what i have done to displease the 'fates' but i have been in the dumps since March and it has gone from bad to worst this April. it's better if no one ever knows what i have been through, but it cannot be ignored. because SOME people just can't be decent enough. worst, they don't even know what the word 'respect' means. if i could only have one confrontation, HE would lose hands down. simply because he doesn't have any right to say anything to me, he couldn't and he wouldn't dare. i could say whatever i like and he would just have to bow down because of shame. i wouldn't miss it for the world, i want to have that memory etched forever on my mind. but, as cowardly as he is, he couldn't and he wouldn't bring himself to a confrontation. and why would he? he is such a coward after all. despite the machismo that he shows to everyone. i KNOW his true colors and despite that and inspite of that, i've accepted him, knowing that there is (or was) something good in him, but i just couldn't believe that he would be this low. maybe the lowest form of life ever created.

i think what made it worst was the realization that i have been with someone who belongs to the lowest specie of life. however, it relieved me in a way because i'm wide awake now. i'm fine, not totally absolutely fine, but i know i would be. i could bring him down, but he could never do that to me. he just couldn't. he doesn't have that prerogative.

but i know the kind of person that i am and despite and inspite of what he did to me, i don't want to ill-wish him, i'm too good for that (or maybe just better than that. hehe.). and if i bring him down, then that wouldn't make us any different from each other. so i'm not doing it. i just wish him all the best. and hopes he straightens up for once. as for me, i'll be fine. i just know it.. =)

exhausted

2010-05-05T20:30:00.003+08:00

wheww.. i'm so tired, literally, figuratively and physically. since the opening of SM Bench, i barely had an hour of leisure, it's exhausting. But, at the same time i'm also thankful. it keeps me busy so that i can forget certain things and a certain person. it's exhausting to think about what happened between us, that's why i HAVE to forget. and somehow i have our shop to thank for it. and now he keeps sending me texts. i mean, what does he want? it was his awesome idea anyway. I just want to erase everything. i haven't replied or said anything for almost 4 days now. i would be better soon. i hope. and i sincerely hope he is happy, because i know that i would be happier the next time, as long as it is not with him. i don't think i could bear that anymore. pray pray pray..=)

hot heat!

2010-04-28T16:36:00.003+08:00

grrr.perhaps the thing that could worsen even the worst moment of my life is this kind of weather. i mean come on, i love the sun, but now it's getting on my (or everyone's) nerves. there was a blackout for about an hour, and i thought i could get heatstroke. that's how bad it was. whew.

anyway. i'm officially starting my new life this May. exactly my birth month. i'm just getting rid of extra 'baggage'. forget things or people that might have hurt me in the past, and just start anew. so (now i still have 2 days before my new life emerges,)i'm not being hypocritical or anything, but for me, i need an overhaul of almost everything. i think i deserve that. i wouldn't have to worry about my future because i know have people who truly loves me. wow now this is crap. thanks to the heat, it has now melted my brain,hehe.=)

reality bites. bigtime

2010-04-27T15:18:00.002+08:00

just decided to check my 'antique' blog here. the ironic thing about this was about my last entry. (which was last year..haha) the part where i said that the moment you put a label on something, it's bound to end in disaster. and i was hell right about it. it did end. not really in a disastrous way, but, yeah, it did. I'm sort of speaking in tongues here, but the fewer who knows (or knew) it, the better.. so i guess it's better luck next time for me. and i hope for the best. and i do wish i could update my blog more often. and change it, asap. hehe. =)

500 days and more with Cherry.:)

2009-11-30T10:12:00.004+08:00

i just watched 500 days of summer yesterday. it was quite funny because summer's character and i had something in common --- the commitment phobia thing. it scared me a little. hahaha.. i don't really know what it is about labels, i mean people put labels on everything. boyfriend-girlfriend, the just-friends-with-benefits thing, the love-of-my-life-can't-live-without-you thing. i mean why? is that REALLY important? i'm not being stoic or cynical or anything, it's just that for me, the moment you put a label on what you have, it's bound to end in disaster, or something bad's gonna happen. hehehe.;) well i do hope not.

=)

2009-06-06T17:41:00.003+08:00

i'm happy.. really happy right now..=) he doesn't even know he's the reason..haha.=)

whew.

2009-05-30T15:58:00.002+08:00

a week before school officially starts, i decided to 'revive' my blogsite (not yet finished, lazy me..*wink*) and my multiply account, i even forgot that i had one before, so i have to go through all that 'forgot-your-password?' stuff.. my main reason was that i want to have a backup for my pictures in case my computer decides to commit suicide.. =) but then i saw my friends and so i decided to maintain that account.. so i'm trying to make up for the three (or more) years that i have ignored my blogsite and my mulitiply.. (i think i have a facebook account too..haha, but i can't remember) i hope i could do that..hehe..=)

can't sleep

2009-05-28T02:11:00.002+08:00

whew... i can't sleep, i took pictures, watched tv, surfed the net..still i can't go to sleep..or maybe i just don't want to..something's bugging me and i kept on ignoring it. stupid.. i think i'm missing someone, and yes, he's missing me too (or that's what he said anyway). but that's not the reason why i can't sleep.

this is crap. i think something bad is gonna happen because i'm anxious right now and it's not likely for me to be like that. i'm usually the optimistic kind of person, but this is not one of those moments. i'm supposed to talk about serious stuff here, man, i just don't know what's happening. pardon my negativity. ok, i'll hit my sleep button after this. whew.

whoah.. am i cleared yet?

2009-05-26T20:10:00.000+08:00

i just remembered. today was our 'clearance' day and i was waaayy too lazy to go to manila..hahaha! well, partly because i am a little scared to find out whatever is written on that piece of paper..so i'll just go next week..=) hmmm, i think a lot has happened to me ever since my last post which was (almost) 3 years ago..i was an incoming law student that time and now, i can't believe that i'm, still in law school (sigh of relief)..=) it wasn't really part of my plan (or whatever), because all i ever wanted was to travel and enjoy life, but i am not yet ready for a job, so that's the reason why i went to lawschool (para naman hindi ako maging bum sa bahay), but i never expected that time could 'fly' that fast.. wow.. cliche huh?

yey!

2009-05-26T19:49:00.000+08:00

my sister finally came home from china, yipee!

i missed the time when i was the one who experienced that 'root-seeking' thing sponsored by lucio tan (i think i was only12 years old back then!) it was fun and i met a lot of friends..but the sad thing is we haven't seen each other after that..=( anyway, back to my sister, she bought new cd's!! yipee!!=) we both love music, and i know i influenced her (in a way) on the kind of music that she listens to..=) wow, all this talk makes no sense, maybe because i'm not used to blogging anymore, and whose fault is that? mine.hehe..

again?

2009-05-23T16:50:00.000+08:00

i still have to 'edit' my page..sorry for the inconvenience..=)

umm,sorry???

2009-05-23T16:40:00.000+08:00

hello? anybody STILL there? wow, almost 3 years? wheew, i even forgot my password and i had to go through all the 'forgot-your-password?' stuff. hopefully i could update this more often..=) i still have to find my long-lost-blog-buddies..=)

.

2006-09-03T16:05:00.000+08:00

what are words? i mean, really? what are words after all? nothing but letters which man has injected meanings to, right?

Right, right. What are words after all? I wish i could take that with a straight face and a clowny smile. And then reality stabs you.

and you're suddenly breathed into a place wherein you're not supposed to be (even if its just a few steps away). did what you were not supposed to do, and worst, read what you were not, in a million fucking years, supposed to read?

forgive me, but i just had that and i think i'm gonna puke. I just had that moment, a moment i wish i could take back. i should have just sticked my butt into the chair instead of finding something to tie my hair up with. the results were not so good after all. Especially when you have in your possession something that you know you couldn't resist looking at, or in this case, reading. Bad move.

I tried to knock some sense into it actually, thinking that maybe, i'm just way overboard, paranoid, delusional, or just plain stupid. what could i do? I've read the WHOLE f***ing thing. And it hurt.

It hurt like crazy. That sort of pain that cannot be subdued with morphine? That kind of pain that rips you apart? A heart, body and soul-wrenching pain? It made me feel useless; an outsider looking in. Like i'm just some sort of lint in the air or a speck of dust. Hell, they could have been luckier. Pathetic. I was begging for rationality to absorb me. It failed.

Words are useless unless you put meaning into it, but sometimes, there are certain things that smack you right in front of your face and i'm too stupid to even feel it, more or less see it coming. Or maybe just numb. Or worst, dumb.

Meanings would come out of words depending on its structure. In short, structuralism played a big damn role why i'm feeling this way. The way someone writes to you has an embedded meaning attached (no matter how peculiar) to each and every word it includes. What i've learned tonight or rather, this early in the morning was probably the most hurtful thing so far. Honestly, i don't know what to feel or how to feel for that matter. I want to scream and shout and yet it all comes boiling into paper. I write.

I f***ing write when the cause of all this misery is also produced by pen & paper. Produced by words and letters which (as far as i can remember) was my ally --- but has now become a foe. And still, writing is my remedy.

Words really are double-edged swords.Too bad the stakes are inside my heart now. It has finally betrayed me.

school sucks..

2006-06-10T18:44:00.000+08:00

i hate studying.. and that's just an understatement..so remind me again why i would be starting law school next week (oh, my is it really that SOON?).. why? uughh.. if i knew the answer then i wouldn't be asking it now.. me? as in me who can't-care-less-about-academics-me? has the world gone mad? still, this so-called law school is just a trial phase for me.. i know, i have the world's greatest parents bacause they agreed that if i tried and didn't like law school, then they won't force me to continue anyway.. how i love them..! but still, next week..? and i still don't have my uniform, my schedule and my section.. great, just great..

...

2006-03-18T09:24:00.000+08:00

the funny thing is, we still can't get over our "bataan outing"..hahaha.. next stop, probably boracay.. (kung madami ang sasama, count me in..!!)

so long

2006-03-15T16:50:00.000+08:00

ngayon ko lang ulit naisipan mag post dito. at dahil pagod at masaya ako, hindi ko na magawa pang mag english.. kaya pasensya na..

kadarating lang namin galing bataan at eto, miss ko na agad ang mga kaklase ko.. oo, ang corny talaga, pero totoo..

(kahit na madaming pamahiin tungkol sa mga graduating students dahil mas malapit daw kami sa disgrasya, tinuloy parin namin ang outing namin, half of the class sumama, kaya sobrang saya.. oo nga pala, may buddy-buddy system din kami kaya medyo safe..hehe)

three days.., bonding session lang talaga ang ginawa namin --- maliban sa paglangoy sa beach (kung saan nagtakbuhan kami dahil may nakita kaming jellyfish---na binaon ng mga guys sa buhangin at naging sanhi ng pagkamatay nito), videoke, inuman (kahit na tumikim lang ako dahil ako ay allergic sa ibang drinks), bonfire, charades,tawanan, pag gawa ng music videos, iba't ibang klase ng nakakalokang card games, kumain, gawing sandman si Bimbo, at syempre iyakan... ewan ko ba, ang hirap dahil maghihiwahiwalay na kami, nakakalungkot dahil ngayon, iba na talaga.. ang hirap iwan ang mga bagay na nakasanayan at napamahal na sayo..

yang mga superstitions na 'delikado daw gumimik ang mga graduating students dahil mas prone kami sa accidents', hindi namin pinakinggan.. at buti naman walang nangyaring masama..

i'm really thankful at naging kaibigan ko at section ang 4 jrn 3.. pwera biro, ito na ata ang pinakamasayang part ng college life ko.. blessing in disguise talaga ang pag reshuffle samin nung second year.. (noong una, ayoko pa, dahil nga sa s0-called-section-rivalry..Sus!!) kaya, lulubus lubusin ko na... mamimiss ko talaga kayong lahat.. as in every one in the class...

ngayon, ewan ko ba,sa monday na yung sukatan ng toga.. malapit na talaga yung actual moment na magihihiwahiwalay kami.. surreal.. nakakalungkot..

kung anu man ang mangyayri sakin after graduation, hindi ko pa rin alam, gusto pa sanang mag aral ng web designing, advertising o kaya ay computer programming, pero ngayon, malabo parin lahat...

(sana ma upload na yung mga pictures..!! at salamat talaga kina rea, sa family nya at sa kanilang mahiwagang rice..)

almost over

2005-10-13T12:31:00.000+08:00

yipee! hell week is almost over.. and i don't wanna think about taxation (well, at least i'm trying no to) since i'm supposed to be giddy and all that crap when sem break's here...
anyway i've had a lot of fun this week --- minus the requirements, the dreaded tax exam, documentaries --- it's fun..
just came back from Bataan last monday evening.. (yah i know we're so 'kapal' para mag enjoy sa gitna ng finals week..hehe) rea's family was so cool and friendly... at-home na agad kami sa kanila.. (sa uulitin!)
we arrived there around 12 a.m already, may gana pa kaming magvideoke,.. we finished around 4 a.m! after waking up around 9 a.m we got ready for our lay-outing (which was the REAL purpose why we went there in the first place..)

before going back to manila, we went to cross the hanging bridge.,. it was so exciting!! i'm still giddy..haha.. after that we went to Mt. Samat shrine and contemplated (bwahaha) then took a lot of pictures (which will eventually be included in our magazine..

so, now i can say i'm quite relaxed.. (we'll just wait till judgment day --- i mean clerance day cum enrollment)..

overload...

2005-09-17T09:30:00.000+08:00

wheew.. just came from baguio..well, actually we've been back last tuesday afternoon. six of us, (me, zey, faith, rix, tin and shailoe spent almost two days in baguio.. our reason? thesis. well, of course the thesis part took place for about half a day. and we spent the rest of it buying 'pasalubongs' for our classmates and looking for good stuff in the ubiquitous ukay-ukays there.. i can't believe there's a lot of it.

then something came up, we went to Lourdes grotto, (where i had my first 'candle' thing done,) and on the stores surrounding the area, we chanced upon this little store where i bought jam (coz my father loves it). and then when i was about to leave, i saw this hello kitty doll inside and i went closer towards it. you see, i'm not really a fan of hello kitty, but i saw cherries on top of her head and i said "hey guys, look, it has cherries on top, cute" and then i took it and showed it off to my friends. and then when i looked closer i noticed that the school-uniform kitty's wearing was the EXACT duplicate of my high school uniform.. i laughed my head off. i just got to have it. it screams my name. and now my friends call it 'the cherry kitty'. weird huh?

well, back to ukay-ukays. i have to admit it was my first time. and it was fun. everything's such a bargain.! who could have thought that a jacket could be as cheap as 50 pesos? hmmm.. we stayed at shailoe's lodging house and had lots (and lots) of fun. the sad thing was, we had so many things to do waiting for us back in manila.
and here i am, researching for the nth time. and losing it. grrr..

talk about work overload.
there's the much anticipated taxation, the overwhelming interviews, documentaries, tv programs and magazines that has to be done. all before sem break..

sheessh...
i gotta go, it's helmy's time.. late na naman kami..!

the case of the traveling pants and mishaps..

2005-08-31T08:51:00.000+08:00

this was not one of those feel-good days..
first, i slept about past 1a.m and woke up at 4... coz i have to go back to manila for our 'recording' session in our broad journ subject.. funny because we really took it SERIOUSLY..hehe.. "kinareer" talaga..

but i have to admit, it was fun.. the thing that made us quite umm...irritated was when the owner asked us to pay 800---yup for 2 hours worth of using & recording our voices.. it was okay, we paid but then the moment came-- he asked us to add another 300 for his gas money! i mean, come on, he was the one who said that he will 'take care of it' (the editing of our so-called radio program), but still he asked for 300 for gas..! ugghh.. so it passed and we just decided to get it over with and paid dutifully..

after that, me, gutz, faith, tin and rica went to gateway and watched the 'sisterhood of the traveling pants'--- watching it was far better than reading it, i don't know, maybe the scenes gave it more emphasis... plus i was with my own group of friends, oue own sisterhood... yikes! cheesy but it's true.. so we enjoyed the movie..

the second mishap i guess was when the pedicab driver demanded 40 pesos for delivering us from the station to espana --- which was like walking from AB to morayta and he got 40 from it. gutz and i were just-- stupefied i guess, i can't believe how some people could be so 'gahaman' when it comes to money.. *sigh*

oh i just remebered, i still have to do my Lit Criticism paper..haha!

dumdedumdum...

2005-08-19T09:56:00.000+08:00

my eyes will soon pop out.. i'm sure of it.. i''ve been in front of the monitor for almost four hours, doing ughh, basically nothing.. i'm kind of in a lax mood anyway, 4 papers were miraculously postponed till next week..!!! *God thank you sooo much* or else i would have disappeared into thin air for doing nothing.. wheew.. i can say we're pretty lucky..!

tralala..!

2005-08-13T08:35:00.000+08:00

tomorrow is taxation and ethics time... funny how i wanted to have a panic attack right now, yet i couldn't feel it.. hohumm... maybe tomorrow i'd get really sick coz i haven't studied anything yet..i'm doomed.. i have to study.. quit typing and memorize all those constitutional provisions but i can't seem to stay away from the p.c... oh well, i guess i'd spend a lil more time here.. and then i'll get back to business..seriously..

**prayers for all my friends, 4jrn3 and former 1jrn1 classmates** lots of luck to all of us..!

smilies!

2005-08-06T09:05:00.000+08:00

What smilie are you? Take the test!

hot hot hot..!

2005-08-02T08:02:00.000+08:00

does anybody know prince andrea of monaco? man, i watched e.t last summer and he was sort of 'featured' in that show and well.. he's way hotter than prince william (for me!) if you want you could check this site out for more photos.. he's really hot.. i mean really.. haha..

http://swissgay.ch/images/andrea/

felix felicis

2005-08-02T07:47:00.000+08:00

okay okay.. i know, i just finished reading the 6th harry potter installment (kinda late i must admit, but hey, i'd still advise others to read it..) and since i'm quite late, there really are born spoilers in this world who told me that so and so died and this and that happened.. i mean come on.. can't they just keep their mouths shut? ugghh.. anyway, i've also finished reading Murakami's Norweigan wood and i must say it's a page turner.. (*rather than Vitug's tax laws anyway*)
ok, next saturday would be our last day for those who haven't recited yet and yep, it includes me i don't know but i guess it'll be a lot harder coz we are like.. 20 more who haven't been called or should i say picked out (like lottery). and i guess there'll be no second chances whatsoever and once you're wrong, be ready for failing grade.. still, i haven't studied i'm planning to but, well, uhmm.. i guess i tokk other matters before..hehe.. i even bought new books..! anyway, i'm not really in the mood to study, (maybe i need a vial of felix felicis on saturday..hehe)

also, could anyone help me?i don't know why my songs wouldn't play.. i dunno.. could anyone hear it?

a thing called politics..

2005-07-13T07:37:00.000+08:00

hmmm, since i'm not in the mood to do anything academically, i would just like to note the country's events or --- mishaps rather..
wow, who knows that the wife of fpj could possibly be our next president?
or maybe anchor-turned-politician like noli? or maybe bro. eddie villanueva? or maybe anyone else?
haha.. the heck, it could possibly be me! (no way, but then again, we'll never know..haha)

gosh, i thought that the 'erap impeachment' (which was aired on tv almost everyday i can't watch anything else on the tube) would be the worst thing that could happen to a president and now, gloria might well be on that road... tsk tsk.. kabi-kabila na nag-rarally, pati ata sa mga yahoogroups kanya kanyang away regarding 'gloria'..

when will this end?

who knows?

baka pag naging president na ko...bwahaha!!
no way, sobrang problema na yun!

i did it again!

2005-07-13T07:27:00.000+08:00

i just spent two days doing nothing but watching tv.. uggh, it even disgusts me how anyone could do it, really.. acting as if i don't have deadlines and take home quizzes..
i even had time to watch 5 movies, (2 and 3 in a row respectively)
it's just funny how other people believe that i'm the serious-prim-and-proper type of girl where in fact i'm like a can't-care-less-about-my-deadlines-i'd-rather-read-leisure-books-or-drive-or-play-tennis sort of person.. i don't know... i felt guilty, yep, in fact i'm feeling guilty right now, coz i'm supposed to help tin research something and here i am, typing to my hear's delight..hehehe...
(she's thinking i'm way too serious on my 'research'..!) i still haven't progressed on our lit crit essay.. i'd only written about 5 sentences.. woo hoo! i gues i could call it 'progress' after all...

ugghh.. i need to change.. fast..!

and oh, by the way, street hockey is fun..

try it..!

migraine madness..

2005-06-28T12:23:00.000+08:00

sheesh.. i'm having a migraine attack right now, still i'm surfing the net..wala lang, i guess this has been one of the channels i use whenever i need an esacpe..
from school to problems, to life's realities..
nakaka bobo na talaga.. but i guess people my age are now immuned..
i think about other people's problems and disregard mine.. i guess that's the way i like it and the way it should be anyway... i don't want others to feel pity for me..
coz i know i'm lucky enough to be here...

yesterday, gutz, faith and i went to megamall and watched 7's documentaries..
and there i realized that as a journalist, you gotta have the guts to face everything..
from eating "batchoy" (from trash to the pan and poof... pagkain na!) to witnessing the other side of life where glamour and glitter are the only things that matter.. and as reality really does bite.. it doesn't end there..
there are too many people suffering and here i am, doing nothing.. it's such a shame and it sucks..
God help me help those people.. i'm tired of just saying na "nakakaawa naman sila".

wala..
drama lang.. crap...

the gift..

2005-06-23T08:16:00.000+08:00

this was one of the stories i've read a few years back, still, these kind of stories live on.. why can't they fight for it anyway? it seems stupid but i guess it's just a matter of time before someone realizes and then it's too late... as the cliche goes, it's easier said than done...
since i don't have anything to post right now, try reading this one...

THE GIFT

He stood undecidedly before the glass window, surveying the various food-flavored lotions and shower gels, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He had always hated shopping. But he had to. He knew Natalie would kill him (and probably glory in it) if he ever went to her without a gift. She actually sent him off on this errand specifically."Go na, hon, and buy a gift."

She waved him away imperiously, even before he crossed the threshold of her garage. "Mamaya, it'll be too traffic na and you might be late." "Okay," he sighed, bussing her forehead. "What do you want ba?" "Basta get me something that would be for me lang ha?" She smiled greedily, "Not for both of us." "Fine," he said, and giving her one last hug, went back into his car to go to the mall.

Two minutes later, he received a text from her. "Ups, sori, hapi vday pla".
He chuckled now as he thought of the love of his life. He knew Nat since way back but only realized he loved her a few years ago. Which was really stupid of him since he couldn't imagine life without her. Deciding against the raspberry bath confetti he picked up at the counter, he put the glass tube down and went out of the store. She probably had one already.Walking randomly, he passed a video store and thought of buying her the extended version of her favorite film: The Lord of the Rings. He knew the movie quite well, remembering the first time they watched it. She was burrowed in his arms while she swooned over the male leads (whom he privately thought were a bunch of fairies).

It was after watching that movie when she confided his friend Ron had been making moves on her. "Well, you're pretty kasi eh. Does he bother you ba?" he had asked, just a teeny bit concerned but making a mental note to talk to Ron if she said he was making a nuisance of himself. She shook her head, looking pensive. "No, it's fine." Then she smiled brightly at him. "Carry ko naman eh, me pa?" So he decided not to talk to Ron.Suddenly remembering his buddy, he picked up a T2 dvd (Ron's all time favorite film) and paid for it. He was out of the store when he realized he hadn't bought Natalie anything. He shrugged and decided to have a look around first.

If he couldn't find anything special, he'll just come back for pansy Legolas.He sighed again, looking at a vast array of jewelry. The rings would look really good on her small hands. But then Natalie isn't really fond of jewelry. Being quite accident prone, she either lost them or got cut by them, and he wasn't going to risk it. Besides, he thought that the ring she'd be wearing soon would be quite enough.Running his hand briskly through his hair, he frowned at the shop windows. It's hard enough for a guy to find the perfect gift, but for such a special lady. He knew what he wanted to find. Something that would tell her how much he loved her BUT without being mushy.

Natalie hated mush."Ickle, Jake, you know I hate 'prom' music." She grimaced as she furiously jabbed at the buttons of his cd player. "Don't you have real music here?" She flipped through his cd case in disgust. "When I get married, I'll have head-banging music. And anybody who requests for anything 'senti' can go plan their own wedding!" He just smiled and nodded. He was quite prepared to let her do whatever she wanted.

It was when he decided to take a breather when the idea finally hit him. He sprinted over to Starbucks and looked at the thermos collection. Being coffee addicts, he and Natalie frequented the café and once, she pointed at the small silver flask they had on sale."Dream ko yan." She sighed. "What? The thermos?" He asked, puzzled. "Yeah." "Then why don't you buy one?" "Kasi, it has to be given. You know, I have this romantic dream. That before I go to work in the morning, just when I'm about to step in the car ha, my Prince Charming will come over from the shadows outside our house and he'll give me a thermos full of café mocha to take to the office. Di ba romantic?" She gazed dreamily at the silver flask. "Basta I'll marry the guy who does that."He picked up the silver thermos and approached the lady at the counter with his request. Fifteen minutes later, he was driving along the highway to meet her but the traffic jam was horrendous.

She had texted him twice already. "Wru na? Ur l8. Grrr." He texted her back. "Sori hon. I'l follow n lng s hotel. C u!"
Later when he was walking up the staircase to the restaurant where she was waiting, he wondered whether he intentionally tried to be late. Holding his gift tightly, he told himself that it's too late to have cold feet. Then he saw her and felt the butterflies in his stomach morph into dragons. She's so beautiful in that white dress."I'm going to look like Galadriel," she had told him after she shopped for her dress. "You'd give Cate Blanchett a run for her money." He answered fondly.And she did. He walked slowly towards her until she looked up and saw him.Her face lit up in a lovely smile."Jake! Hay, I thought you'd never come eh. I'll never speak to you again if you stood me up today of all days."

"I had trouble finding you the perfect gift eh. O, eto na." He handed her the flask.
"Oh," she said, staring at the thermos in her hands. "Oh." She looked up at him, blinking back tears.
"I don't know what to say.""No need," he whispered, brushing his fingers against her cheek. "Basta be happy ha?" She nodded. Then she turned and beckoned to Ron.

"Darling, Jake is here."Uy, pare, how come you weren't there sa church? I had to drag a cousin to be my best man tuloy." Ron grinned at him, throwing an arm around his bride."Sorry, pare, super ang traffic."

Then Jake shook his friend's hand. "Congrats. I'm happy for you. Take care of Nat ha?"
Take care of her for me.

hit & run

2005-06-19T02:47:00.000+08:00

school officially started..yeah right..
just when i was having a blast umm..sleeping..that is.. it's been a long time since i've posted anything here..

just few days before going to manila, my sister was hit by a motorcycle.. i didn't know what to do, it happened in a flash, (i didn't even remember their faces.. those bastards!) when i looked at her, she was already lying on the road.. and those f**kers didin't even stop to help her.. i felt like a leaf, i literally shivered as if i was the one hit.. i felt guilt and anger because of that accident.. thankfully she suffered only minor bruises.. if anyhting happened to my sister, i probably wouldn't forgive myself..

i don't why there are still creeps who act as if nothing happened.. how could they be so mean? ugghh.. was helping her stand that much of a deal?

the world IS still inhabited with f**kfaces.. i'm so stupid to believe otherwise..

teen no more...

2005-05-19T13:02:00.000+08:00

in a matter of two hours, i'll be turning 20. funny, but i don't feel any different, not like what i expected. i never thought i'd be spending my birthday inside the agence france presse office. liezl, my partner-in-crime would be my only company. this would also bemy first birthday without my family and friends. my only escape was making my newest blogsite, and yes, a little publicly.it's weird. i never thought that those mushy slash cheesy slash corny stuff would be things i'd really miss.
i'm on the brink of being a teen and an adult. gone were the days where i could just spend the rest of the day being a couch potato and get away with it.gone were the days where i could just sleep during finals week and don't give a damn.. now, it's different. admit it or not, when one reaches the twenty-something age, expectations soaras much as the country's poverty level. people expect more from and of you. the transition is short --- shorter than what i had imagined.and i'm not quite ready for that. i'll be graduating this year (hope so, fingers crossed!), and i don't what's gonna happen next.having this ojt stuff made me realize that real work is totally different from the world that i (or most of us) have been accustomed to, and it's hard to get out of our own cozy little boxes.it's hard out there.

yeah right, my very first entry in my newest blog and i'm talking bull... sheessh..